Summary
Does this BMS have any effect? Audra Yentz, whose five children have all attended Bird School, finds the Levels Behavior not only "very effective," but it mirrors "the way I try to parent. Emphasizing the positive aspects of behavior rather than focusing on the negative." She was especially impressed when her youngest, Jack, came home from kindergarten last year with exciting news. One of his classmates had demonstrated such outstanding behavior during the day that his name, as Jack put it, had "got on blue." The system works so well, she feels, that not only do kids feel great when recognized for their own positive behavior, but are equally thrilled when a friend has success.
As accepted as this situation is, it allows for multiple sets of rules and varied levels of discipline by many different adults. [Jocelyn Miller] believes the result is kids with unclear behavioral expectations. Since children's response to authority is set by the age of five, whether they have what she calls a "healthy fear" of their parents and other adult authority figures has been molded before they ever set foot in school. There's even something called oppositional defiant disorder, which is on the rise clinically, thought to stem from a "societal lack of clear expectations."A second factor is that many parents that Miller sees today tend to be uncomfortable with their own parental authority and are reluctant to instill that "healthy fear" in their kids. Since many parents today grew up in the "question authority" mindset of post-1960, she theorizes it's due in part to their own relationship with authority. She's also observing a "mismatch of parental strategy to the age of the child." For example, parents trying to reason with their four-year old when reasoning isn't really appropriate until about age 14.See the full content of this document
Extract
Thinking Positive
No parent is proud when negative behavior or discipline reports come home in their child's backpack. Regardless of many other differences among parents, most want to raise responsible, respectful kids who ultimately will grow into adults able to handle life's inevitable tense situations with tact and integrity. It can be a daunting and bewildering goal today,...
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