Summary
Knute Berger offers a little primer in crosscut.com for newcomers to Seattle, a city that he says is a "cultural minefield of prejudice and political correctness." First, he advises, never complain that recycling is a pain in the you-know-what. Next, don't admit you shop at Bellevue Square, and avoid trying to get too cozy with your neighbors: "Being too friendly could result in a restraining order." You'd also better not mention that you'd rather drive than bike, and don't even think of flinching if a dog poops on your shoe, since pets are holier than thou. Finally, "there is no surer ticket to the Mental Hospital for the Criminally Insane" than announcing "I'm a Republican." Berger intimately knows his politically correct Seattleites; his new book is called Pugetopolis: A Mossback Takes on Growth Addicts, Weather Wimps, and the Myth of Seattle Nice.
The grand prize winner of San Jose State's 27th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest - in which writers compete to come up with the worst possible first line for an imaginary novel - is "contest recidivist" David McKenzie of Federal Way, Wash., a previous winner in both the Western and children's literature categories. His deathless prose speaks for itself: "Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the Ellie May, a sturdy whaler captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin' and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests."See the full content of this document
Extract
Heard Around the West
UTAH
The Beehive State really let its hair down recently, finally permitting people to drink liquor without having to join a gentlemen's club first. Before that, the state Legislature approved a bill allowing people to go out in public with "emotional support a...See the full content of this document
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