Summary
Hirst details the many side effects that steroids cause to a person, including mood swings, increased risk of prostate cancer, and shrinking of one's testicles. He realizes that the quest to achieve a heightened sense of maleness ended with the opposite effect, and that in his rush to get huge ended up having to deal with an emotional maelstrom akin to PMS, and became more like a chick than ever, cursed like Tiresias.
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Extract
A Casual Steroid User
Inside the Pi Kappa Alpha house I rapped my knuckles on a door at the end of a dark hallway. No one answered, but it was unlocked, and I stepped inside.
A pit-bull was tied to the bed, a long rope on its collar to give it the run of the room. She stared at me with wary black eyes but did not growl. This had to be Sammy.I waded in and began chatting with the animal."Howdy, girl. . . hey, now . . . don't maul Steve, now . . ."She was calm, used to a steady stream of visitors. I scanned the room and spotted the microwave. The door swung open, the soft orange glow of the interior bulb the only light in the dark room. Aplastic Ziploc bag sat in the center of the microwave with a yellow post-it note.Steve, here is the D-ball. DO NOT TAKE MORE THAN ONE A DAY, and remember, DO NOTDRINK. Enjoy! Love, ZackSix weeks earlier I sat with Zack in our friend T.J.'s apartment. Zack had broken it off with his girlfriend-in epic, disastrous fashion-a month or so earlier, and a chance encounter with her had set him off again. She had cheated on him-with two guys -at the same time -in a hot tub. He wasn't a sobbing emotional wreck or anything, just angry. He kept bouncing a tennis ball off the wall and catching it, sipping an Icehouse. Zack was engaging in the time-honored tradition of getting over a break-up by aiming generalizations at the entire gender."You're looking at a whole new Zack, boys. The only bitch I care about from now on is tied up at the Pike House in my room, eating kibble."T.J. was sitting on the couch flipping channels. We were killing time before heading downtown. Restless, I went to the metal bar bolted to T.J.'s wall and began doing pull-ups."Look at scarecrow, flexing it," TJ. cracked. Bo...See the full content of this document
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